I’m sick of apologising first

As a british person and a woman, I often end up saying sorry first. It doesn’t matter whether it’s someone bumping into me or during an argument, it’s always me saying my apologies first. I am sick of it. Just because I hate conflict, I always want to resolve it as quickly as possible – even if I’m not in the wrong. 

THE FIRST ONE TO SAY IT

Prior to Covid, if someone ever bumped into me regardless of whose fault it is – I apologise first. I shouldn’t have to do this and I should be able to move on. My mind fears that the person will start shouting and cause conflict. I don’t think my anxiety can take being shouted at in public, so I apologise no matter what. 

In relationships, whether it is friendly or romantic – I say sorry first. Even if I know I’m not in the wrong and the other person should apologise, I cave and make up with them. I always think that life is too short for anger and try to resolve stuff quickly. Whilst this is a great mantra – I’m basically a walking doormat. Everyone walks all over me because of it and serious issues are never taken seriously. I have had enough. 

I’M READY FOR CHANGE

This is going to happen no more (or at least I’m going to try harder). Instead of giving up and letting everyone get away with whatever they want. I’m going to work to apologise less unless I really need to. Unless something is completely my fault and causing issues – then I’m not going to say sorry. 

Random pushing and shoves will no longer be an issue, they will be out of sight. I’m going to mentally make myself stronger and harden my shell. If someone tries to shout at me, then I’ll either shout back or ignore them. I want to be louder this year and my resolution is to say sorry less. 

My family and friends will no longer get away with subtle things as I’ll stand proud. My best friend will no longer be able to constantly be late, yet argue when I am. My relationships will be equal and based on caring, rather than one person letting you get away with everything.

So I shall stand proud this year and only apologise when I need to. This feels more like a rant, than an article but it needed to be said. Women who apologise for everything unite, and learn to not say sorry when you don’t need to. Obviously, don’t be a mean person who never apologises – but find the middle ground and be normal. 


Words by Michelle-Meghan Williams

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