Relationships are tough…that’s no secret. It can be hard to maintain a friendship and it’s easy to say the wrong things. We’re human after all and no one knows what to say to people.
As I get closer to firmly reaching past my mid-20s, I remember the friends I’ve had in the past. I’ve had many best friends but I’ve lost many through time and stupidity. My childhood best friends are simple that. We stay in touch and see each other when we are back home but there’s no immediate connection anymore.
My school friends and I soon lost touch as we all went seperate ways. One of my old best friends from school emotionally bullied me all through school and I ended lose friends because of her – but children make mistakes. I wasn’t a perfect friend but I often tried to do the best that I can.
Towards the end of secondary school, I had gone through multiple best friends but finally found one that I thought would stand the test of time. Unfortunately, that relationship didn’t. We went to seperate universities and stopped telling each other the truth. We drifted apart and I later found out that she was nothing that I thought she was – but neither was I.
At university, I thought I had finally found my tribe. Two people stuck out the most for me when thinking about my uni friends. One of them was so similar to me that I thought we were cut from the same cloth. The other was a geniune person that was truly kind to everyone. My undergrad has some of the best times until jealousy and apparant betrayal came up.
When uni ended, I only stayed in touch with one of my uni friends but that soon fizzled when our lives began to fully change. I found love and realised my dream in life, I quit my job and moved to a different city to enroll in university for the second time and be with my love.
After my undergraduate degree, I had many best friends varying from my work colleague to my other work colleague. As much as I love these women, they were not my sole best friend. When I moved to a different city, I attained a new best friend at my new job and soon figured out that you cannot have one best friend.
As you grow up, you lose the number of friends but gain more sustainable and real friendships. My friends in my adulthood are not gone from my life as we are just living our seperate lives. An old best friend reached out to me recently and it enforced my feeling of friendship.
Bonds are strong but humans are irrational. We make judgements and errors prematurely that can affect our lives. Friends may do something and not realise how it hurts the other person. If you’ve read through my musings, then I’ll give you this one tip. Live for yourself and your happiness because you can try all you want at a friendship but it doesn’t mean that it’ll last.
Be yourself and make sure that you are happy before you focus on someone else. That’s the only way you’ll be honest and open with them.
Words by Charlie Vogelsang